BASICALLY THIS IS WHY MY HEART HURTS RN

January 31, 2018

I get the feeling that a majority of the people on planet earth wake up thinking the day is ruined already. even tho the sun is shining and the sky blue. that they aren't supposed to be here.
that they aren't loved. (do you feel this way?)

it always makes me ache to hear the words of disdain spoken about someone else..but when they say the words about themself. oh man. that's when I panic. bc how are you supposed to remind a human being that they were created by God filled with radical love? but worst yet, how can you describe that radical love when they don't even know a taste of it?

bc I'm realizing that a lot of souls are empty of love and held by a prison of pain.

and in that sea of emotion, I'm lost. not completely, but turned around enough to the point of wondering what I can do in the vast scheme of life...to help others see. I feel small. like a shadow of what I want to be. the questions keep raging on. they keep flowing. and I keep wondering

what am i supposed to do? 
+ what do you do?

(just know this. i don't give up easy)

20 comments:

  1. Julia, wow. I don't even know how to describe this post, except yes. It's so heartbreaking when you encounter people like this...especially since that on some days, I feel like it as well.
    The way you put it--"bc how are you supposed to remind a human being that they were created by God filled with radical love?" And i don't know. no one truly knows what to say in those moments, except to be close and remind them that they are needed and that they are loved by you.

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    1. Allison. I really don't either.. I wrote it so in the moment. mmhmm yes, it is. wow. thank you for your honesty! It's amazing
      you're right, we don't know what to say. AND THATS A HARD THING TO SWALLOW. thank you for commenting girl..thank you so much <3

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  2. MMMMMMMmmmmmm friend- this this this.
    God has given you such a compassionate heart, full of empathy and understanding.
    Remember that you were created for BIG AMAZING IMPORTANT THINGS!!!
    xoxoxox

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    1. OH DEAR FRIEND. I knew you would understand.
      now you're going to make me even more emotional and teary. STOP but for real....thank you bro *hugs* YOU GOT THIS THING CALLED LIFE REMEMBER THAT K

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  3. Wow. That's my question too. What can I do? I hate feeling powerless - aching for others, but clueless how to communicate how incredibly valuable they are. I can never find the right words, and I know words alone aren't enough either. My heart burns, but I don't know what to do from there.

    I am so, so, enjoying your recent deeper thoughts, Julia. And it's encouraging to know you feel this too. I've been told I need to not take on other people's pain, but I don't want to become immune to it. I don't want to distance myself, just so I can sleep easier, while they suffer on. Jesus feels every bit of our pain - it kept Him up at night, sweating blood - maybe it helps us catch a glimpse of the depth of His love. So, I don't have any answers, but it's nice to know we're in this together. Thank you, and never, never, never, give up, as my bro says. xx

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    1. I know...its a sinking feeling, tbh. The communtication part is exactly what I'm talking about! ITS LIKE uhm....words are just words, YET that is super important in itself. my heart is breaking.....

      oh, sweet Jessica, the only reason I publish these is bc I know you and others understand and care. I know that you'll help me in some way, and YOU HAVE. You're so right. who are we to feel no pain...who are we to have a light heart and easy sleep. Thank you.
      and your bro has a good saying. I'm going to make t-shirts <333

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  4. Aww... I am seriously very glad that you shared this with us, because to be honest, I struggle with it a lot, too.

    I've just got to remind myself that I'm here for a purpose, and though my heart's been broke again and my prayers ain't been answered yet and I'm feelin' like I got nothing left, I've got to lift my head 'cause it ain't over yet. :) (I hope you get that reference)

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    1. AW KENDRA. I'm seriously so glad I did too. All you lovely humans understand in your own way and that's just beautiful.

      oh. yes. AND I TOTALLY GOT THAT SONG QUOTE THANK YOU FOR MAKING ME GRIN *hugs*

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  5. What I personally do when I feel like that is read the bible, create art, and listen to TOP.

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    1. aw you're right. Those are really good things. Thanks Lissa <3

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  6. i love how you ended this with not giving up easy. bc you know what? God NEVER gives up so therefore we are not alone.

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    1. i love how you point that out to me and I totally didn't even see it. for real......... THANK YOU GIRL

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  7. It's so hard to watch people go through something like this... I never feel like I can do enough. Sometimes, I can literally do nothing. But I can cry out to the Lord on their behalf, and I am so thankful to know He answers those prayers in the best way. I still desire to encourage them in anyway I can, as well... but sometimes, all you can do is lie awake at night and plead that that God full of Radical love would break their hearts open to His grace <3.

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    1. yes... and I feel that too!!! NOTHING IS SO HARD GIRL. so hard. and yes......yes. thank you for all of this. totally needed it today. *hugs* for real.

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  8. I think living a life that demonstrates grace and love and forgiveness is a greater witness than telling people. We are the light of the world. The simplest things - things you maybe do without even thinking - can give hope to other people. If we can keep our focus on God and others we don't need to do anything else. God does the rest.

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  9. SO COOL.
    Sometimes I wake up and I dread things that I'm about to do...dread things that are going on or things that I have to finish/start. Mostly it would just be laziness, but I also understand what you were writing about -- which was BEAUTIFUL by the way. xxxxx

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let's be honest here peeps, comments rock. keep 'em clean and fun and I'll reward you with a virtual ice cream cone

*reluctantly hands cone over*