MY 19TH BIRTHDAY ADVENTURE

August 29, 2018


crashing waves. spent $70 on gas and $13 on food. iced coffee. finding a random book store. playing chess. laughing at a book just on coffee cup lids. finding a piano and playing it. jamming to music for a total of 6+ hrs of driving. lots and lots of snacks (i.e cookies, 5 different kinds of chex mix, spicy chips, chocolate covered raisins, but also lots of stops because FOOD IS SO IMPORTANT.) about 5 million + 2 photos and videos. driving in the rain. in the fog. in the sunshine. in the clouds. in the dark. having better signal on the dunes than I do at home lololol. literally running down 3 miles of sand dune into total fog. nobody face-planted. "this is what heaven looks like." finding amazing rocks + me trying (and failing) to learn how to skip said rocks. having a picnic lunch on the sand dune. and then lugging everything back up it lolol. realizing the humidity had turned my hair into a complete curl/frizz thing. being so covered in sand. xx "first one to complain climbing back up the dune has to buy everyone ice cream" (nobody complained hahahaa) 6am wake up time to 1 am bedtime IT WAS A LONG DAY. and then the next day was editing the photos and sharing them with everyone. lolol.

I'm officially 19, people. o.o

p.s my first day of college is tomorrow. tips?

THE THING ABOUT "HAPPY"

August 22, 2018
well...here we are, discussing THE THING ABOUT "HAPPY"



man, do I understand that title above very clearly. I feel like it's me in a sentence. A lot of the time I know that my happiness is often from the wrong reasons like;

A) circumstances that just so happened to go the way I wanted them to.

B) no annoyances, no problems, no running out of gas, not waking up with a cold, finding pop tarts in the cabinet, ya know, when things just seem to be going smoothly.

C) and things like those lol..............

I honestly want to shake free from this feeling of sadness when what I had planned goes "wrong" but happy when 1+1=2. it isn't that simple though, because this is a part of our human nature - I know. but urrrrghh, it frustrates me.  -.-

Lately, I've seen these character traits coming out strongly in me. If I tried to describe all the reasons that have made me feel this way, you'd probably agree that I have reason to be a little down, but you'd also end up with a mile long post (lol like my journals do), so let's not go there.

but, I would dearly love to let you know that happiness cannot be placed in our plans, in our friends/family, our jobs, because time and time and time and time again, we will be failed. Even though I know this (and often tell others o.o hahahaa) it's still very helpful to write it out and declare it again. 



I guess I'm trying to tell myself, it isn't failing to be reminded.

but it also isn't easy to pull yourself out of that hole of pouting because so and so didn't go your way... so stay strong, place your plans in God, and remember, that happiness is even in dark caves. so stomp on into today and tomorrow my friend -- you are so brave. 

read this poem too k 

ALSO IF YOU WANNA GO SEE THE WINNER OF THE POETRY BOOK GO HERE !!! 

TWILIGHT TO DAWN'S 2ND BIRTHDAY + GIVEAWAY

August 13, 2018

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPPP!!!! guys, this is Twilight to Dawn's 2ND BIRTHDAY. I didn't think my poetry blog would surpass a few months and yet, here we are.

huge shoutout to AMANDA from SKGFUN for this pic 

I find it fascinating to look back at how much my poetry style has changed and I truly want to thank all fantastic readers for sticking along with the almost 17 year old Julia to the almost 19 year old Julia. The fact that you have actually purchased my poetry books blows me away constantly. I don't have enough words to say thank you sooooo

I DECIDED TO BRAVELY SCRIBBLE AND SKETCH AND PUT LITTLE NOTES IN A COPY OF MY POETRY BOOK AND WELL
I'M DOING A GIVEAWAY WITH IT. (it's also signed shhh) (also idk why the rafflecopter isn't working right..just click on the link xxx)

a Rafflecopter giveaway

+ the giveaway is open to everyone in all countries!! so ennnttteeerrrrrrr!!! 


also, a few things to celebrate 


  • Lisa over at Inkwell did a SUPER AMAZING THING and had people use my poems as inspiration for short stories in her contest. 
  • Kenzie over at Paper Pizza interviewed me after reading my entire poetry book !!! AH read the post here . she also posted amazing photos and made me wanna cry bc wow
  • I opened a insta for my poetry blog! That's been really neat to figure out what exactly I want to do with it xx
  • SO MANY TAGS. SO MANY PICTURES OF MY POETRY BOOK ALL OVER THE WORLD. literally cannot handle it
  • uhm. so. WE'RE ALL JUST A GARDEN FULL OF SOULS is like......in my library now. I KNNNNOOWWWWW
  • did a thing where I had people send me 1-5 words of what you're feeling and I'd turn it into a poem. wrote 24 poems in 24 hours. 

I have grown so much this year alone. I cannot wait to see what happens next!! 
ALSO IF YOU HAVE ANY RANDOM QUESTIONS ABOUT ANYTHING, ASK BELOW K *hugs* 
(and yes, this is the same post on both blogs lolol I'm too lazy to write up something totally different again lol sorrry) 

DEFINING BRAVE - MY THOUGHTS BEHIND THIS POEM

August 8, 2018
I'm constantly finding new definitions in myself; words I didn't think meant a bit to me, suddenly mean the world. And, I love that, because I'm now carrying a thicker dictionary of who I am. does that seem silly? perhaps a little lol!


about two-three weeks ago I wrote the last poem in my journal that I had been filling since November. I told myself "this entry doesn't have to be special, just write." and so, I did. I started it in all capitals up top

DEFINING BRAVE

and without thought to the next sentences, filled in the lines below. this was born.

-------

one who is afraid.
one who doesn't let the fear conquer.
one who tells others to be brave.
one who isn't afraid to tremble.
one who loves while broken.
one who sings while sobbing.
one who can't give up.
one who was born to live.


------

each sentence written suddenly formed another and I was left with the first poem that meant so much to me, I wasn't ready to share it. (yes, I have sharing problems. lolol a 2nd oldest thing) but truthfully, it was because this poem (prose?) were my emotions. for two weeks, I was able to hide the fact that I wasn't brave, yet I told myself because I had written them, I was. #yeahright




this week has been long (and it's only half way through??), full of challenging situations. full of patience teaching moments. Both of those things are hard for me to deal with at the moment, but I also finally was strong enough to share DEFINING BRAVE with you all. 

not because I was brave, but because I needed to be brave. ah, I think you'd all be surprised the meanings/feeling behind some of my poems lol 

p.s. BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR A SURPRISE NEXT WEEK. 

WHAT HAS FORCED YOU TO BE BRAVE THIS WEEK???
IS IT HARD TO SHARE YOUR WORDS SOMETIMES? 

JULY : A NO SPENDING MONTH + MY BUDGETING

August 1, 2018

well, here I am! The overall response in my last post, asking you guys if you wanted a post on my no spending challenge in july was


“YES DO A POST ON YOUR BUDGETING!!!”

lol let me tell you, suddenly I felt very incompetent on my skills and how to explain what I did this last month but here I am anyways..lets see how this goes >.<

first off GRAB YOUR PLANNER. hopefully you have a weekly section that you use heavily, because that’s what I did lol. I’ve always wanted to learn how to budget plan but everything I used that was a legit budget planner NEVER WORKED and I found out why – because it was in a separate place/book. For me, to have something work, I need it to be in plain sight and easily accessible. Maybe I’m lazy?? Lololol


(btw I’m still using the happy planner I did a post on HERE I’ve bought extension packs, etc and I kid you not, this is what I’ve been looking for my entire life. I panicked at the price but I’ve been using it for over a year now which has totally evened it all out)

My #1 tip is to avoid stores. it sounds sooo lame but idk...its worked for me. I decided to be very cautious with what I spent in July, but I also when fun shopping with friends, bought ice cream, gifts, etc. I feel like this is a lot like when I went off sugar two years ago – I learned how to avoid certain things/places and the fact that I didn’t need everything that I thought I did. BUT ALSO TO STILL SPLURGE otherwise, keeping firm later on would be impossible. Everything in moderation, please. xD

Throughout the month,  I kept track of everything I bought/where I bought it / how much was spent in the side of my planner.  It was easiest for me to do this weekly. so usually Saturday I would compile the list, unless I had been able to stay on top of it during the week. I also wrote down how much money I earned, how much I had in my savings + bank account each week.

ANOTHER TIP : use cash for your fun purchases. Like I would keep a $5 in my purse so when a friend was like “LETS GO GET ICE CREAM” I knew that this was my fun money and it was totally a-okay. (also yes, ice cream is still a big thing in my life...) 

I couldn’t wait for yesterday when I was finally able to tally up everything from the month of July. I was astonished to find that I had been able to curve my spending even thought I had felt otherwise. I spent nearly $200 in gas...which once again isn’t as bad as I thought lol! In the end, I noticed that I am growing my savings and now I know exactly where my money is going but I also know that budgeting isn’t impossible! 


Perhaps this isn’t true budgeting? But it truly works for me.  Now I have these spending patterns to look back on and go “okay Julia, spend a little less on your ice cream and put that into savings” or I can say “hey julia, the amount you are spending on ice cream is 100% cool.”

Sometimes when you work and work and work (#me) you lose sight of what you’re actually doing. For a while I was like “LOL I WORK HARD I CAN SPEND WHAT I WANT” and while that’s true, it’s not really the smartest thing for me to do.  Also we are to be good stewards of what we are given xxx

LEMME KNOW IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTIONS. Totally willing to explain things more if I failed to above XD