ARE WE LOVING OURSELVES?

I wonder if we replayed the compliments we’ve received to ourselves over and over again, if we would learn to stay for our worth.

If instead it being called vanity but rather it being that we are needed and our given talents are rare. 

After all, we all are aware that we beat ourselves up over little things. maybe we could break the cycle of the negative being the focus and brag on ourselves

I mean, God really does love us. Live as such.

I wrote these words because I was pulling weeds in the onion patch and quite literally felt like quitting. I had hardly slept and had a big day ahead, which was a terrifying thought as I could hardly open my eyes at that point. I wasn't feeling like much of anything (ok I was. i felt like ew lol) 

as I'm sitting here with 3 out of 10 fingers painted because I didn't have enough time to finish them, I want you to know that actually makes me laugh. I'm not embarrassed; its okay. it's just that I screenshot any time someone reposts one of my poems and have a little folder on my phone with them all. (VAIN???? idk) I'm constantly blown away by the little things that people say that make me wanna cry. 

We are all worth so much. Listen to the kind words spoken and take the not-so nice ones with a grain of salt. Learn how to pick apart jealously, helpful critiques and just plain meanness. let yourself rest for a bit. Encourage yourself for a moment and then go encourage someone else to do the same. 

LETS REWIRE THE CYCLE. 



p.s I opened an insta for my poetry blog (@twilighttodawnblog) also gO reAD THIS POST NOOOW

ALMOST END OF THE MONTH POST

JUNE (so yes this post is kinda early lol but ENJOY) 

my mom “it was nominated for 4 enemy awards”
me “mom?... Grammy awards?” 

guy on tv “I would be so scared and run away from that shark!”
me “you can’t run in water”

Me “let’s go get your hat! Look at this cool paw patrol hat!!”
Kid I babysit *puts it on* “I am a man” 

Me “it’s 71 now! It was 70”
Bro “hurrah for you and your knowledge” 

co worker “hey I finally remembered to take my name tag off!”
me *looks down at shirt* *sees name tag*
“lol whoops” 

went to Kentucky and it was 96 and 89% humidity 

Me on walk with family *sees grassy cliff edge* 
“AS YOU WIIISSSSH.” “OH MY SWEET WESTLEY WHAT HAVE I DONE” 
so I said that super loudly and then look up to see strangers also on the path *dies* 

I ran my hand thru my hair and found a piece of popcorn?????..

Kid I babysit “are you old? Are you KINDA old?” 

Me : “first person to sneeze has to buy ice cream “
Also me : *sneezes*

Bro “what does rice a roni look like? Can you open the pan and let me see?” 
Me “no, it’s cooking and that would ruin it.”
Bro “I’m telling you to”
Me *raises eyebrow*
Bro “IM JOKING” 

me *catches swim googles my bro threw to me*
Little sis “you are so talented!”

Me *is struggling to zip up bros life jacket*
Bro “come on woman, you work at a farm! YOU GOT THIS”

sarah : next year you'll be 20 
me : 

don’t grind pepper outside on windy day. It hurts in the eyeball 

also people learn from me, let your food cool before you eat it. I burnt the roof of my mouth twice REALLY REALLY BAD in like a time period of 10 days (like it hurt to eat for 3 days after) 

Bro “hey Julia what do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?”
Me *tries to be funny* “a zoomerang”
Bro “a stick” 
Me “...”

me *has flowers in hair* “are they wilty?”
Sarah “go take a shower and water them” 

my life : 

me: oh man look at this bug bite!!!
also me : "I sure hope they aren’t chicken nuggets” 
friends “Julia...”
me “oh chicken pox” 
the we broke out into laughter bc WHAT IN THE WORLD JULIA LOLOL

----------------------------------------------------------------------

LOL 2 AWESOME THINGS THIS MONTH
AND TWO AWKWARD THINGS 

IS THE MUSIC YOU ARE LISTENING TO HELPING YOU?

I'm big into music. it's incredibly rare that I don't have it playing in some form. I love a wide variety of music as well.

• Christian contemporary (FOR KING AND COUNTRY, NEEDTOBREATHE, MATTHEW WEST, BRANDON HEATH, HANNAH KERR, PLUMB, JORDAN FELIZ, DAVID DUNN, TAUREN WELLS, RYAN STEVENSON AND MORE) 
• Jazz. oh man, my lovely jazz. 
• ALL THE MOVIE SOUNDTRACKS EVVVVVVVVVVERR ( hello dolly, music man, mary poppins, like everything disney, ya know, veggietale silly songs with larry)
• just plain piano. so calming 
• but also some 50's-80's music?? LOL 

so music means a lot to me. I practically have it coming from my pocket always lolol (IF ONLY I KNEW HOW TO PLAY AN INSTRUMENT oh sadness) and the other day when I was working in the garden, listening to For King and Country's album RUN WILD. LIVE FREE. LOVE STRONG. for the 501408527068th time (I'm basically addicted to this album rn and listen to it constantly lol) and the song that was on was "MATTER" and it basically was going 

"you matter. I hope you know you matter" 

and I was struck with how glad I was these were the words that I were hearing because the thought of hearing

"you don't matter. YOU REALLY ARE DIRT" 

would hurt and after a short period of time I would believe it and well....I think that's a really sad place to be. I felt loved to hear that I mattered and felt empowered by the thought of God is love and He created me and in this moment what I'm going through matters. That He already knows about it. 

I feel like the world has romanticized pain and having a self image of BLAH. I don't listen to a lot of popular/new music but I think if I picked 5 random ones, they would be about heartbreak, love, sadness or being lost/empty/searching for something. 

in part, I want to thank the artists who choose to uplift and praise with their talent. impact is being made. lasting waves are taking effect. love is being felt. and on the other hand, I would love to ask you to use your talent as such. I'm afraid that joy is slipping through the cracks of a very empty land. so i pray,

Oh God, bring peace to this troubled land. 

FAVORITE SONG(S) RIGHT NOW??? 

THOUGHTS ON THE LYRICS IN THE SONGS YOU'RE LISTENING TO RN ?

p.s. ceasefire and matter and live long and .. well. lol. you should really just listen to the album from for king and country through. it's like a book xxxx

also read this blogpost

A LETTER TO ALL THE BABY GRADUATES

Dear Baby Graduates of 2018 (but also next year, etc),

Congrats on surviving. You just accomplished one of the first big things on your LIFE to-do list. And, yes, I really mean that. At the moment you are probably feeling a mixture of cloud nine excitement and OHHHH HELP ME WHAT AM I DOING?!!?!? those are both incredibly valid feelings, I assure you.

First off, if you know what college you are going to, what you're doing, and when you're going to be getting your degree, I applaud you. and if you don't, I support you. If you're taking a gap year, I am thrilled for you because there is an adventure beyond what I expected in that. In fact I'm going to go as far as to say I encourage taking a gap year. I did. At first that was so easy for me to decide. Then I had to sit through my friends leaving for college and the question of "what's next for you?" being answered with a "eh. not sure yet?"

IT WAS HARRD. I felt unaccomplished. Like I had failed to hit a certain step of graduating..the "next" step. I'm not anti-college. actually lol I'm taking a few classes this fall (!!!!!!!!!!!!) but I stand for letting God direct your next step. which tbh I look back on and think "julia you didn't know it was God then...." so don't feel like OH SHE KNEW when really I was thrashing around hoping something would come of something lololol

and welllllll it did. God did it. He still is, if I'm honest. so when you're feeling discouraged and overwhelmed by papers to fill out (either college forms or job applications), don't be. You're the first you to graduate but you surely aren't the first. Ask around. Glean from other people and the information they've learned... often you'll be given sound advice and some things you can just smile and nod and say thanks for. lolssss but GOSH don't do something bc of pressure or if you feel a sound "no" from somewhere.

To end this, know that I'm praying for you. This time is as if two french doors (PLEASE TELL ME YOU WATCH FIXER UPPER PEOPLE) have been swung open and you're blinded by the whiteness. (lol if you don't feel that way I am so happy for you <333333)

LEMME KNOW IF YOU HAVE PLANS SET IN PLACE (oh. i feel like one of those people who I was like *facepalm* at...i am so sorry but lol I wanna know?????????.... yeek)
OR IF YOU'RE WINGING IT