just a wee update

December 28, 2018
a few of you wandering souls might be wondering where did I vanish to. yeah lol me too. 
sorry...journaling kinda has taken over. 315 pages from Jan 1st 2018 - Dec 24th, 2018. I haven't done an updated count since lolol 
 we had a christmas party. the first of many. it was such a blast. meatball subs. cheesecake. secret santa. intense game of spoons.everyone fighting over bluetooth rights for our new speaker. all the laughter and chatting. playing nurse twice (inside story lol sorrry). idk, memories to keep for ever, I assure you.
 we had about 3 days of sun all of December. this was one of those evenings. Sarah and I ran out each evening and watched the sunset. I about cried. I was so thankful I didn't have to work those nights. ah. sunshine, please, come back.
 the library I work at collected 342 gifts for seniors in our community which I was honored to bring to the location that they would all be distributed at. IT TOOK 4 CARS TO FIT THEM ALL. xxx
 well. i am going to go make pizza.
1 annoying thing: was running out the door to work this morning and dropped my breakfast on the driveway. was shaking so hard by 3 when I finally got food in me.
1 beautiful thing: all the patrons i've made friends with lately and the fun conversations we have. the holiday season brings people close and i love love love that.

p.s. what inspires you?

a few reasons why I love my job

December 5, 2018

As a librarian, you get the chance to connect with so many different people on a fairly personal basis. The books that people check out indicate a lot about the person. I truthfully love my work space so much. and well, here are a few reasons why.

obviously a big one is that I'm around books allllll day long. haha! But truly, I'm not sure if you remember this poem that I wrote about two years ago?

"i saw a homeless man
he was sleeping on the streets of boston
cement for a bed and the sky as his ceiling
i saw a man older than my grandpa
he was checking out a clifford book
he saw the books in my arms and smiled
the man beside him said
"you'll be reading like that soon. real soon."
and you know what
maybe there is no parallel here
i just saw something
pain and beauty
and perhaps
that's how it was meant to be

for now"

I wrote this poem before I was hired at the library. Well, a few days ago I had a light bulb moment and realized the guy in front of me was the man who checked out the Clifford book. It hit me smack dab in the face that I've seen him for months, but somehow didn't make the connection and I promise you, I grinned like mad for two reasons. 1) His reading skills have advanced!! and 2) this is the community I get to be a part of daily. I was inspired. 

now here is the question: should I let the guy know he inspired a poem or do I leave it be? 

I was going to list more reasons why I love my job as a librarian, but at the moment, nothing else tops that. It's a space where I get to be creative and geek out over books and movies with fellow book friends. Not only is it an environment where I feel safe and welcomed, I feel as if I'm being inspired and growing. 

A library is a fantastic place for a writer and poet to work at. Oh, if only you could grasp the character sketches I get! Basically, the library is the place to be. xxx


do we actually listen???

November 25, 2018

are we actually listening to the needs of others 
or are we more listening to their needs in hopes that
they will finally hear ours? 

when I wrote that I was thinking about myself. I love to be heard. in fact, I crave to be heard. If I'm the only one who feels this way, I'll be incredibly shocked. We listen with a divided attention. Half of us truly wants to understand what the opposite person is saying, and the other half suddenly relates somehow or your little brain came up with something wise to say and you just cannot forget it. aka, you're not listening anymore. 

It's really sad to realize that in the moment. I want to give my undivided attention but out of my own human nature, I suddenly feel the need for my wounds to be tended as well. There is a fine line between listening and caring. A truly caring person will listen with undivided attention. Not everyone has that skill, because once you find someone to open up to, I'm not sure we realize the gift we have. That or perhaps it's almost too terrifying.

Either way, I really want to work more on being a true listener in the sense that my words spoken aren't in the way to change the topic. When a person opens up to you, take it as a cry for help. Take it as an opportunity to help someone else heal their wounds.


are we actually listening to the needs of others 
or are we more listening to their needs in hopes that
they will finally hear ours? 

Maybe their isn't anything wrong in wanting to be heard, maybe it's just the ratio of talking vs listening that needs to balance out. 

p.s. happy late thanksgiving and merry christmas