ALMOST END OF THE MONTH POST

JUNE (so yes this post is kinda early lol but ENJOY) 

my mom “it was nominated for 4 enemy awards”
me “mom?... Grammy awards?” 

guy on tv “I would be so scared and run away from that shark!”
me “you can’t run in water”

Me “let’s go get your hat! Look at this cool paw patrol hat!!”
Kid I babysit *puts it on* “I am a man” 

Me “it’s 71 now! It was 70”
Bro “hurrah for you and your knowledge” 

co worker “hey I finally remembered to take my name tag off!”
me *looks down at shirt* *sees name tag*
“lol whoops” 

went to Kentucky and it was 96 and 89% humidity 

Me on walk with family *sees grassy cliff edge* 
“AS YOU WIIISSSSH.” “OH MY SWEET WESTLEY WHAT HAVE I DONE” 
so I said that super loudly and then look up to see strangers also on the path *dies* 

I ran my hand thru my hair and found a piece of popcorn?????..

Kid I babysit “are you old? Are you KINDA old?” 

Me : “first person to sneeze has to buy ice cream “
Also me : *sneezes*

Bro “what does rice a roni look like? Can you open the pan and let me see?” 
Me “no, it’s cooking and that would ruin it.”
Bro “I’m telling you to”
Me *raises eyebrow*
Bro “IM JOKING” 

me *catches swim googles my bro threw to me*
Little sis “you are so talented!”

Me *is struggling to zip up bros life jacket*
Bro “come on woman, you work at a farm! YOU GOT THIS”

sarah : next year you'll be 20 
me : 

don’t grind pepper outside on windy day. It hurts in the eyeball 

also people learn from me, let your food cool before you eat it. I burnt the roof of my mouth twice REALLY REALLY BAD in like a time period of 10 days (like it hurt to eat for 3 days after) 

Bro “hey Julia what do you call a boomerang that doesn’t come back?”
Me *tries to be funny* “a zoomerang”
Bro “a stick” 
Me “...”

me *has flowers in hair* “are they wilty?”
Sarah “go take a shower and water them” 

my life : 

me: oh man look at this bug bite!!!
also me : "I sure hope they aren’t chicken nuggets” 
friends “Julia...”
me “oh chicken pox” 
the we broke out into laughter bc WHAT IN THE WORLD JULIA LOLOL

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LOL 2 AWESOME THINGS THIS MONTH
AND TWO AWKWARD THINGS