December 13, 2017

you guys know me. I write down things that I'm thinking about or feeling or dealing with. And, sometimes, that doesn't mean those things are pretty. Sometimes they're hard. Sometimes (like in my poetry) they're just a little too close to home. and for me, those are the ones that make me grow. it's not enjoyable, but still.

I really don't know what will happen after this post goes live. tbh, I've struggled for months to even make a draft.

guys. it's about swearing. about Christians swearing.

you see, long ago when freaking, suck, heck, and omg started trickling into people's/blogging vocabulary, I ignored it. But recently, there isn't a day that goes by without seeing it somewhere. I'm confused. I've heard the real swear words in my life -- they're awful similar to these.

The words I listed above don't seem to be considered swear words or even bad words by most. But..I do believe we all know they're substitutes for the real thing.

substitutions in a recipe are meant to be so close to the actual thing that you don't notice the change. the same with words.

Then, I came to the point of deciding myself when I had comments on my blog often with these words. I'll admit it - I've posted some. (I moderate my comments) But, there have been a lot that I haven't published.. I'm very cautious with what content I allow. for me, I want this blog to be a place where I would be comfortable with anyone to read it.

this whole has awakened to me that unwholesome talk can be much much more than harsh/bad/curse words. I'm guilty of falling into the sin of gossip, sarcastic comments that tear down rather than build up...and more... Bc it’s the motive. It’s your heart and what you are thinking behind words. I am not perfect in the least, but perfection in Christ is our goal...right?

It's hard to be different. but that's almost not the point anymore...it's coming to the point of Christ and how He would have us conduct ourselves...the words we say, things we do...how we glorify God!

I know people are going to tell me that I'm judging. Or that I have my own log in my eye compared to your twig. that is true. the fact is, as Christians we are not supposed to be of this world. Swearing is worldy...I have even seen the Lord's name taken in vain. for me, that's incredibly sad. I have people do that around me sometimes - at work, the store..it's still wrong but I know they are unsaved. And then, when I see Christians folding into that, I'm so disappointed. It is definitely becoming popular… and it’s becoming more important than the things God has told us.

tbh we talk about being like Christ but are we?

Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.  Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.

personally, I've been asking random friends "why do people swear?" these are majority answers

  • just to fit in/feel cool/impress people
  • it gets anger out
  • to explain feelings
  • bc that's how they were raised/it’s just what they do

Those things don’t necessarily make it right. In fact, they can’t. God clearly says in the 10 Commandments

You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain, for the Lord will not hold him guiltless who takes His name in vain.” (exodus 20 :7)

I’m pretty sure God measures that sin up the same as murder...and well...no motive can clear that and make killing right.

AND WOW JUST SAYING HERE I HAD SOME OF THE BEST CONVERSATIONS WITH THESE FRIENDS AFTER ASKING THE QUESTION. I also asked them their advice on if I should go ahead with posting this..they said yes. so THANK YOU FOR THE SUPPORT FRIENDS <3

The things we say speak clearly to the state of our heart. My mom has said this my entire life. It’s taken me a long time to get over the immediate “nah Mom!” to realize...yes, she’s right. It does matter. There are a lot of people around us daily who are not saved - who are not Christians - and our testimony may be the only change to plant a seed in their lives!
And… well, that may be in the form of you not actually saying anything, but being different. Actions often speak louder than words. But, if we are sitting there joining in with the wordly talk, how are we showing that Christians are different? How are we showing what Christ did for us?

It makes me so sad when I hear that Christians are becoming the same...or when non-believers state that, well, that’s when my heart sinks into my stomach. It’s time to face the facts. Often we think that we are young and the things we do/say don’t matter...well, tbh, they do.  They really really do.

Maybe we aren’t ready to change the entire world but how about the way we interact with our daily circle of people - our daily world. Today isn’t too late. I’m trying myself...I’m honest when I say it’s not easy. Things slip out...and then I beat myself up thinking “srsly Julia just get this right!”.
That’s when I cry out to God.

me beating myself up

Guys, I’m not telling you this bc I think I’m better - I’m telling you bc I care. Character is a HUGE deal. You’re known by it for the rest of your life. Christian character is even more important. Growth is constant, but only if you allow it.

this is 100% the longest post I've ever written, but more than that, this is the longest in the working post I've ever had. Please known that I'm not just typing these words to clear my conscience..or just to say them. I MEAN THESE THINGS. These are actions that I'm changing in my life.

So like I said at the beginning of my EXPAND + GROW series...this is going to be hard. This is difficult for me to post, but bc I’ve never let fear stop me before, I’m pushing ahead. God has definitely laid this post on my heart...He has a big big plain in store for each and every one of us..like isn’t that sooooo exciting?!?!

thanks for reading and just know that I'm praying for you <3



  1. Ugh, this post hit me hard. I've been raised not to swear or even use the "clean" swear words. But I definitely say things such as "Oh my gosh," and "heck". I used to think of those words as bad, but have fallen into the habit of using them.

    But, if we are sitting there joining in with the wordly talk, how are we showing that Christians are different? Yes, yes, yes! Like you said, we aren't of this world, so we shouldn't be trying to fit in. We are God's children, and that means we should be completely different from what the "norm" is.

    ~ Ella Marie

    1. It really is amazing how it does become a habit!! I've 100% realized that in myself..it's not really a fun thing to notice, but it is a good thing

      *nods* I have found myself trying to fit in..and that's another jolt of like WAIT STOP lol life is a lot of learning moments XD

  2. I loved this. Absolutely loved this. My mom would always tell us as kids, "Whatever comes out of your mouth, comes from the heart."
    And it's true.
    Also, people using phrases that are so close to swearing.... It isn't right. Again, my mom always told me, "Anything can become a swear word. It's all a matter of the heart."
    She always told us to keep our language clean, and that includes more than refraining from strong words. It also means to refrain from using crude jokes, running people down.
    What you said about Christians being different. That's been on my heart a lot lately, and when I hear some of my friends speaking lightly of serious things, I'm saddened. I find that just as wrong as swearing. I had an incident the other day.
    My friends and I were sitting in a coffee shop, quietly chatting and enjoying each other's company.
    I noticed an old couple seated next to us, but didn't pay them much mind until they stood up and the woman approached us.
    "Excuse me. We're leaving, but I just had to say before we go. You are the most lovely group of girls I have ever been next to and I want to congratulate your parents."
    We all were touched deeply, and she said again, "Just lovely."
    After chatting with us for a short moment, she turned away, then stopped. "Are you Christians?"
    We all nodded quickly, feeling so warm and happy, and she smiled widely. "So are we. Praise the Lord."
    And she left.
    I was so overwhelmed, I nearly cried and wished I could run after her, to thank her for her encouraging words. And I'm not trying to toot my own horn. I'm just trying to make a point. The woman listened to our conversation, and NOTICED the difference.
    Wow. I'm writing a book. I better stop. Lol
    Thank you for stepping past the fears and speaking up about this.
    Love you, girl.

    1. LAKAYSHA wow first off, let me tell you I absolutely adore this comment!!!
      *nods* I think our moms are alike ;) It's a good thing!!!
      AND I AGREE. about anything becoming a swear words bc it matters what you think in your heart..yes, so much truth girl!
      ohhhh wow, yes.... it is hard to refrain from sarcastic remarks for me!! totally something I need to work on..
      Once again, same. It hurts a lot when I see Christian friends not taking serious stuff seriously...
      THAT STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
      srsly. I could cry!!! It reminds me of an older lady who asked me a similar question! she said
      "are you homeschooled?" and I replied that I just graduated, but yes! She was like "oh I can tell. 4 of my grandchildren were homeschooled and..well, now I can just tell."
      I TOTALLY WAS LIKE WOAH THATS REALLY NEAT. also that she was willing to just ask such a random question?? yes. totally neat. XD XD
      nahhh no need ;)
      girl thank you for commenting and helping me overcome my fears and for being my friend
      ditto, girl <3

    2. That's so neat! I've been approached with the same question. How do people tell? Lol
      Always, girl! *Hugs*
      Side note, my mom is one of the wisest, coolest women out there. I owe her so much.
      Just had to add that. Lol

    3. Idk!! XD

      AND I 100% BELIEVE THAT - but then yet again that's my mom soooooo ;)
      XD XD XD

  3. Thank you for not being too scared to post this. <3 Honestly, I think we all need to hear this a lot. If I was asked, I would say I didn't swear, but I do say some things that...my vocabulary could do without. I can honestly say that this post has helped point those out to me. Thank you, thank you, thank you. <3

    1. aw Jane!! I really really was scared...and kinda still am, but thank you for responding so well!! and same.. so much same!! THANK YOU <3333

  4. Our conversation the other day encouraged me so much. It's so great to see that other teens desire to have clean speech and honor the Lord through their words! Thanks for sharing! Keep me accountable because the so-called "small" swear words definitely slip out sometimes and I don't want to think of them as non-swear words.


    1. oh Hailey - you encouraged me so much!!! It's so important to me to have friends that I can talk deep spiritual stuff with and walk away knowing that truth and love and Jesus was the main focus. So THANK YOU. <3 and bro...wow. same xxx

  5. Yesss, so many people say 'small' things like that and I don't exactly like them. I was just thinking about how when we say even Oh My Word, you are still talking about God, God IS the Word. Same goes for Oh My Goodness (only God is truly good) and then where people actually say Om*. It's really all bad, when you say a word with such anger, that word even if it was 'potatoes' is still bad. We are supposed to give our frustrations to God. Which can be real difficult. I know for me, I say things such as 'crap, omw,' and I need to stop. Usually instead of saying anything I just snap my fingers if I'm mad or something. :) Thanks a lot for doing a post on this, I was just about to as well!!
    paige xx

    1. *nods* I feel the same way!! It is totally a learning experience...every day is. And, I firmly believe that is a good thing! Like.. I'm not going to count against myself for all the years I didn't think about it..bc that just wasn't where I was at, but now I see it and I know it's time for a change bc now I really am accountable!! if that makes sense?? and hm that snapping finger idea makes sense! and thanks for commenting girl!

  6. Julia...THIS IS SO AMAZING OKAY? Thank you for being brave enough to say this. I was just thinking the other day about all the little words that could be bad words that have slipped into my vocabulary...and nearly become habit. Just...wow. Thank you so much for saying this <3

    1. AUDREY CAYLIN. *sobs* thank you sooooooo much!! I AM REALLY NOT THAT BRAVE (in fact I was cowering in my room all day before I finally got the courage to click "publish) *nods* yes...but nearly a habit means it's still NOT one!! *Hugs* thanks so much for being my friend girl <3

  7. Hey Julia,
    Really good post today. I feel exactly the same way about Christians and language. I struggle with hearing language and such because it then gets stuck in my brain and just waits for me to let it slip. It scares me silly. I've actually gotten to the point where I've stopped watching movies and reading books where there is language because I asked myself, is this honoring God? I'll be honest, I use heck and other such "non swear words". I've never really thought about it, but you're right. They are a fill in for the harsher ones. Thanks for giving me something to think about.


    1. Janice! Thanks.......and yeah......I totally get what you mean. It is hard to keep the mind pure!
      and SAME. I don't read books with language in it bc I just know it won't go anywhere good in the future..plus it's just stuck there. It takes a lot of prayer and concentration to get rid of it!
      aww of course..thanks for commenting <3

  8. oh Julia. You have courage, and I am so proud of you for sticking up for something you are passionate about. I was just thinking about this subject the other day actually, after my english teacher told another student who had just used one of the 'substitute' words "You do realize that when saying that, you really just mean the real word in your heart? It's just the same as if you had actually said it." That really stuck with me, and now after reading your post, I feel as if I really need to be watching my words more carefully.
    We are not called to fit in, but to be different in Christ, and this is a wonderful way we can all take a step nearer to him.
    Thank you for being brave and honest and real. <3<3


    1. *brushes tears away* thank you so much Mira!! tbh I had to beg God to help me click the publish button and it's still hard bc I'm like *cough* what's next? lol!! wow!! that's fantastic that your english teacher said that! And look, you are thinking about it...wow, I love that. So neat!!
      *nods* yessss. I love that - step nearer to Him!!
      dude....... thank you for being the same xx

  9. Jules this is beautiful. thank you for letting me talk to you about it. it was a good conversation and very eye opening..dude i'm so glad u posted this. be brave boo <3 love you twin

    1. Tia thanks for talking about it with me!! It meant a lot <3 and yes..it was a good conversation. *covers face* *whispers* I don't feel brave - love ya twinster xx

  10. really love these photos. <3 <3

    this post was very powerful. i wish more people would read it + more importantly, take the message to heart.
    thank you for sharing this. it's very impowering and i really need to hear it!! :)

    1. ohhh really!! thanks Sophy!! <333

      wow..thanks girl. thanks for taking tis so well
      and for being so kind!! xx

  11. Wow. Reading this was so eye-opening. You are TRULY courageous for writing this!! Tbh, this was something I really needed to read, and I'm so glad I did. It made me realize how much I have gotten caught up in using these "substitutions" for swear words. I guess I haven't even really thought about what I'm doing when I'm saying them. Am I saying them because I actually want to say the real thing, but I know it's wrong so I'll just say something a LITTLE bit better? It's honestly not much different than saying the real thing, and like what most people have already said, it's a heart issue. One that really should be dealt with, but isn't most often. This was the most powerful blog post I've read all week. I'm super excited about this new series, and I know you will do an amazing job with it.

    Stay the amazing, awesome, and inspiring person that you are. Love you, girl!

    ♥ Emma Joy

    1. aww Emma thank you so much for your encouragement!!! I know..it's been something I really need to learn and then reached the point that I knew if I wrote it down and had accountability with allll of you guys, it would set into play. so THANK YOU for helping me!! <3 and ikr...I totally understand your thought process. Dude such a compliment! WOAH *hugs* I'm really excited to see what happens next too.. I really started this whole series on a whim and boy, I'm glad I did.

      giiiiiiiirlllll THATS LIKE YOU xxx

  12. Wow, I think this is definitely something I needed to read today and definitely something I'm going to be working on. Like you said, growth is constant but only if we allow it to be. Sometimes we don't even realize we struggle with something like this until someone points it out to us! So thank you for pointing it out Julia <3 I'm so appreciative!

    1. ASHLEY <3 thanks for your sweet comment girlie!! I was so excited to see you here. XD And *nods* I really didn't see it for such a long time.. thank you for taking it so well!!! sometimes I worry that I'm too bold :P *hugs*

    I have always been persnickety with my vocabulary. I don't say SUCK, I don't say HECK, I don't say OMG (mostly because I hate abbreviations LOL "lol" is an abbreviation so yeahhhhhh). It's mostly because I'm a writer, mostly because my writing style is super touchy and I write the way that I speak. I really valued this post, it totally put some perspective into my mind. Like, a lot of it. And we got a tiny little bit of snow today like COLORADO THAT WAS LAME.

    1. AWW AMELIA YOU ARE?!?!?! thanksss <3
      lol I used to be the same way..about abbreviations I mean, like I wouldn't say "bc" or "srsly" or "idk" but now I do and idk..lol I just don't when writing novels thats for sure!! ;) but aww thanks for your compliment!!


  14. This is good! And yes, why is it that we're Christians, but so many of us don't stand out that much from the rest of the world??
    Thank you for speaking out! <3

    Also, I like that third picture! We don't have snow. ;) We may have had some flurries once, but... that doesn't really count. ;P

    1. *nods* it really is hard and I 100% understand that!!! but..like, I'm realizing that doesn't mean it's right. *hugs* you're sweet...

      *scrolls up to remember what the 3rd picture is* OH YES I love it too!! I took it before my shift at the library and then I got talking with the lady who was sitting there reading a book and we basically ended up best friends so I TOTALLY LOVE THAT PICTURE <3 XD

  15. I ADMIRE YOU SO MUCH FOR POSTING THIS. Like ahhhhh, mad respect. My heart was pounding last time I posted a controversial post. xD

    I will say, you said some great things here that I totally agree with! It really is all about the heart issue. What you REALLY mean inside is what matters. Personally, I don't feel convicted for what I say. (Like "oh my word," "darn," "what the parsnip," etc.) I just...never mean anything vulgar or dishonorable when I say those things. So what's in my heart is NOT ever intended to bring people down or be a bad representation of Christ. If it ever becomes that, then I'll know it's time for a change.

    So I guess what I'm saying is, you should follow your convictions. I don't know if we necessarily feel the same way, but I loved hearing your thoughts and GAHHH you are a brave person for speaking out. <333

    (OH, and btw...if you want me to, I'll try not to say anything like "oh my word" or "gosh" on your blog. I don't personally have a problem with it, but I want to respect your beliefs. :))

    1. DUDE I ADMIRE YOU SO MUCH ALWAYS SO WOOOOOOOOAH THANK YOU. dude. my heart is STILL pounding..even tho I've gotten such an overwhelming response of "WOW THIS IS GOOD" it's like like eeeeekkk LOL

      yess heart issue for sure! and it's between you and God. I've learned that over the years.. and YOU GO GIRL. bc like it really is what you're convicted of and where you're at right now. There is NO way I would look down upon you for that!! tbh, I'm still learning and deciding where I'm drawing the line. *nods* you're soo mature girl! LEGIT

      DUDE YOU ARE LIKE SOOOO AMAZING. thank you for saying exactly what you think. I 100% RESPECT AND LOVE YOU FOR THAT. like legit I could not be smiling any bigger than I am right now.

      (and dude. I'm crying. bc....tbh, this was like one of the main reasons why I posted this. I wanted to gently explain to people why there comments were disappearing.. YOU ARE JUST SO SWEET AND KIND AND WOW. thank you Mary <3333)

  16. Wow. Julia, this is amazing. I completely agree--we need to be more careful about what we say. This post is awesome.

    1. ohhh thank you so much Allison! And yes...we do have to be careful. HAVE A LOVELY DAY <3

  17. Julia, this post was SO GOOD!!!! I agree 100% with EVERYTHING you said. People have gotten too comfortable with using these words, and they don't think anything about it when they use them. It's one thing for unsaved people to use them because they don't have The Lord to convict them over it, but it's a whole other matter when they are saved. We are supposed to be like The Lord in everything we do. We're not supposed to be like the world. I mean, would The Lord say those words if He came down to earth? Or would WE use those words if He came down to earth?
    Thank you SO MUCH for posting this! This is stuff people need to hear but most aren't brave enough to say it. So thank you again, Julia.
    I'm praying for you!

    - Maddy | littlebitofsunshineweb.blogspot.com

    1. woooahh dude 100%?!!??! THAT IS AMAZING cuz like when I say it was hard to write this post I MEAN IT. I was soooooooooooooo sure that I would be stepping on everyone's toes.. :P thank you!! yesss we are supposed to conduct ourselves like Jesus does! yeah..right would you say those words in front of Jesus? that's a realllly good question to ask yourself over anything!!
      ohh wow.....thank you sooo much + thanks for the prayers <333

  18. This is the first time I've stumbled upon your blog, but this post spoke so deeply to me. I couldn't agree more with you. Where I work I hear people, mainly Catholics like myself, all out swearing daily and talking about impure things. It's really hard to know how to react. How not to agree with it, but not act above them. I have to concentrate hard sometimes not to fall into the trap of being like everyone else and just saying these things. Yes it's hard, but it's important to me and I believe we should fight for it.
    Saylor // A Saylor in the Stars

    1. Ohh! Well first off WELCOME TO MY BLOG SAYLOR. and lol I sorta feel bad that this is your first post to my blog bc like a majority of them are funny and then a lot of them are deep, but this one for sure is probably my most likely to be controversial! but aww you're so sweet!!!! And it is, isn't it?!!? It hurts the most I think...bc.. like you suddenly feel like "well if they can, why can't I?" which isn't right, but I understand! YES we shall fight!! <3 God will help

    2. Don't feel bad. It was full of passion and it really struck with me. Not many people are brave enough anymore to discuss this topic. It couldn't have been a better first post. You do handle controversial subjects very gently and with such kindness

    3. wow.....for real, thank you so much! I am deeply uplifted by everything you've said. xx

  19. Julia!!!!!!!! Thank you so much for posting this. I know it was hard, but it will be so worth it. And you said it beautifully, with grace and tact. Seriously though, I'm so proud of you for having the courage to post this. Love you so much!!<3 <3 <3


    1. SHELBY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thank you so much for being there when I was working this out..as I was writing it and scared and before I even wrote it and wow. just thank you <3 you're amazing dude. LOVE YOU GIRLIE <3

  20. I don't comment often but I just had to say how much I loved this post!
    It had me inwardly shouting "Amen! Amen girl!"

    I have had "Christian" friends around me use (in my opinion) harsh language. It always made me uncomfortable but I was never able to express to them why I didn't like it. Or why I felt it was improper for Christians to do so. You have explained it so perfectly! Thank you!

    1. awwwwww! hey Felicity!! XD I was so excited to see a comment from you.
      and legit thank you! <3 you're precious!

      hmm *nods* I totally get that. and bro isn't it hard?!? I know that in reality its easier to write a post than to speak these words to someone..and I guess maybe that's the point. idk - I'm learning. THANK YOU GIRL <3 *hugs* and this post totally is alllll God's <3

    2. You're very welcome! I love reading your posts but for some reason I just never comment... feel I wouldn't have anything worth reading I suppose?

      Writing is so much easier than speaking. I am slowly learning to express my thoughts and feelings out loud but, it is certainly a learning process. I think blogging helped me in that a lot though. Allowing myself to open up with words for others to read before being able to actually open my mouth and say them.

  21. Ju you're right and I've thought a lot about it myself lately. Like ok I've heard this reasoning -- "as long as you're not using it to insult someone, it's ok". So yeah we should never use it hurt someone, and I'm sure we all agree. But if we say it about a situation ... it's usually used to express strong emotion/anger, right? and I asked myself why I should not use strong language to express anger ... bc the Bible says GIVE THANKS IN ALL CIRCUMSTANCES. and swearing doesn't help for sure.

    Then there's the thing about being a stumbling block you know -- like when Paul talks about food? Some people may be ok with saying 'heck' or 'omg' or whatever but there are those who aren't. And I never never want to influence someone younger/more "innocent" to use the language just to fit in ...

    And lastly I came acrosss the problem of sometimes just thinking it not even saying it and still I don't even want to think it bc He said to love Him with all our minds and just ...

    Yeah we should aim for that perfection. Holiness, right?

    1. *nods* yes...I really agree with what you said. And surprisingly I've never heard that reasoning before! I guess I can see why some people would accept that, but I know that wouldn't make it right before me, bc like you said GOD SAYS GIVE THANKS IN ALLLLLLL CIRCUMSTANCES. wow. I'm seeing that a lot differently now. thank you <3

      yes...... 100% truth. I feel that way as an older sister. Sadly I feel like I have to be awakened to it often.

      right.. wow you wrote a lot of good things here Lisa! THANK YOU <3

      YESSS <33

  22. This post was just like wow. I definitely say some of those things but I’ve never of it like that and just wow.


let's be honest here peeps, comments rock. keep 'em clean and fun and I'll reward you with a virtual ice cream cone

*reluctantly hands cone over*