i was gonna work at a camp this summer but..... // LEARNING HOW TO ACCEPT CHANGE WITH A SMILE

okay so summer plans. Everyone is making them right? I was too, except I was trying be a grown up about them...to not get my hopes up to high and to remember to not set them in stone before a definite answer was given.

You see, I put in an application to work at a Christian camp that I really, really love. I had to fill out a ton of paperwork, get references, find out dates, etc. It was a learning curve for me. A few days after my email went through, I got a super positive response! An interview would be happening sometime in March. Like, talk about scary and exciting.

I was encouraged to contact previous volunteers who did the same thing I was interested in - so with the help of my friend *waves to shelby*, I was able to do that. basically that was the best bc wow I got really pumped up to work with these peeps!

Just the other day, I got a phone call. I'm not going to the camp. Basically, they had an overflowing amount of young adults willing to stay the entire summer and since I wasn't able to commit to that, they decided to only have to train their volunteers once. (which makes total sense) 

but like.. wow, talk about disappointing. I had been planning a lot of things for camp, even though I tried hard to not to. I thought about chapel meetings, how much I would miss blogging and my family, the experiences and hard stuff I would go through.

but you know what? I was also relieved. There were a lot of reasons I wasn't looking forward to being gone for so long. Truthfully, I'm introverted and that alone scared me.  *sees all the sympathetic looks out there* 

so now I'm left on this verge of mixed emotions and the realization that I'm not going to work at the camp and I'm beginning to see how exciting that is in a way. I'm graduating in early May + planning a trip (shhhhh nobody is supposed to know yet) which is leaving me with an "empty" summer.

It won't be empty though. I will have so many opportunities - things I can do. I can just as easily serve my family and friends as I could the kids up at camp. I can garden here, be a lifeguard at our own pool, enjoy my last true summer reading, not miss out on so many amazing people's birthday's and graduations also JULY CAMP NANO HERE I COME.

I can just be. and geesh guys - I'm so excited for that.

also I finally cleaned out my inbox uhm *cough* it was bad. Also, I apologize if you're one of the effected people by the blizzard that hit the east coast... like i pray you've got a lot of books :P

oh and wear green today or else you'll get pinched ;) just warning you *pinches you anyways* 

p.s. this post makes me think of my own poem I wrote a few months back if you wanna read it

what are you doing this summer?

when was the last time you just...lived??